Oh my God, what has happened to my life?

I seriously feel like I disappeared from the world for about two weeks and I have no idea why. I've not been writing AT ALL and I JUST got back on the treadmill this morning. Not metaphorically. I LITERALLY ran on an ACTUAL treadmill for 50 minutes today. What I have been doing is laying on the couch. A lot. Maybe it's the heat or my iron levels or just a general blah-ness attached to this time of year which is notoriously sensitive for my whole system on account of it being the time I year I got married once to someone who broke my heart and also before the breaking of the heart bit there was the death of his mother bit, also at this time of year, which involved suicide and just a general negative vibe. So I always try and perk myself up around about now and all the presssssure of not letting it get to me is like, getting to me. So it's probably just that. I guess. Sometimes I try to do something significant on the ACTUAL day like...oh.....hmmm...spend it in London, alone, expressing milk meant for my 5 months old into a public toilet and missing my train home because I'm perusing shampoo in the newsagency. Other times I just consciously decide to not acknowledge it like last year and I wear a hideous hairstyle and pants to work and then my ex husband comes in unannounced and I feel like a troll and like he's thinking "bullet successfully dodged" and all manner of unflattering other thoughts. This year, Sunday, I might just run around a lake and buy a new dress and donate money to some anti-suicide, anti-marriage, anti-London organisation because THAT'S WHAT THIS TIME OF YEAR MAKES ME FEEL LIKE DOING.  And then I plan to sleep.

Asides from alllll that, my list is going swimmingly. You guys, it seriously makes you get your shit done. I will tell you all about it in my next post once I muster up the energy to attach photos to emails and email them to myself and then save them and attach them to this blog. The end.

Running update.

Morning!

So after a month of running, I have progressed from nothing, to 4km in 30 minutes. To be honest, some of the 30 minutes is not strictly 'running' (it's more like walking really) but I feel that I am working up to it and isn't interval training a thing? My next mini goal is to move 8km in close to an hour.
I think it is making me fitter. For example, on Saturday night I hung out with my niece and nephew and played 'catch me as I jump towards you in a pool and then spin me around and around and don't let me drown' for what felt like hours on end and I didn't feel puffed out or achy in the morning. That means something right?

The last time I started running seriously was during a break up and so this month, it has stirred up some questions about what I am trying to run away from this time. It actually does feel more like I am running towards change instead of escaping something though. I have changed so much since the last time. Especially in terms of being comfortable with pain and feeling motivated to push myself.

I still have this point to prove to myself though. I set a goal all those years ago. I set a goal and I wanted to work towards it as a distraction from all the bullshit that was going on with the divorce. But I never achieved it for one reason or another. So here it is. I'm going to do it, just to tie up another of those pesky loose ends.

I'm going to run a half marathon. This year. Even if it takes me 4 hours. There.

Art

There are quite a few vague things on my list like "See more art/do more art/be around art. Art." for example.
When I break this one down I think what I am trying to say is that I want to be near beautiful things. Man made and otherwise. What is art anyway? Why is a copper pipe sticking out of a hill 'art' but then a copper pipe sticking out of the road 'a liability?' I think it comes down to a)Intention and B) Interpretation. But you don't necessarily need A. Although it helps. Anyway.
Having a three year old who joins me on my every adventure changes the way I do stuff. I took her to the Monet exhibition and she tore off her shoes and socks and threw them at a wall. She breaks stuff. She wants to interact with the world. She is not an observer. She's quite artistically inclined and I fear she'll grow into a torture artist in time, especially since she had to go under general anaesthetic to remove some playdough from her ear. But painting and drawing at home is rather boring for the adults in the house and I usually use that time to go on the treadmill (however, I was not on the treadmill that time that she shoved playdough in her ear. Let's make that clear. I was in fact reading a book in another room while her father watched her. Good watching, Honey.)
So, to continue my explore my own artist urges and to avoid any more encounters with emergency room staff we've been doing our art adventures together.
Last weekend, we went to the McClelland sculpture park where Junior could run around and I could ponder massive sculptures set in bushland. We also went to the Romance Was Born Exhibition at the NGV which although is aimed at children, I really liked (you got to make necklaces and beards.) Mostly because my sister took me and I drank coffee and kissed her toddler AND got a temporary tattoo.
I think we're at a good stage for doing this sort of stuff though. And I do get extra inspired when I am around arty things.